He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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