thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
i out mim tonsoeep
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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