he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
