thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
