so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
