Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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