You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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