So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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