Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
