is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I am in a vortex of obligation.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
