dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
