Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
