my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
