you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
