And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
