This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
