I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
