Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

somebody snuck up and got me drunk

Fav 4 2001 823
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(914): View more from New York

Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.

Fav 15 930 2196
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(815): View more from Illinois

someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.

Fav 3 983 2413
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(502): View more from Kentucky

I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now

Fav 10 2550 1302
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(503): View more from Oregon

I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.

Fav 49 5972 987
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(318): View more from Louisiana

I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me

Fav 39 1085 4800
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?

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(586): View more from Michigan

I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.

Fav 13 1474 675
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(727): View more from Florida

The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.

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