Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
