So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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