$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
