I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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