I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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