I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
