talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
