I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
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