so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
