If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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