HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
