This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
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