after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
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