Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
