is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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