and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
