Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
