we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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