After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I feel like death gave me a hand job
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
