Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
