Rock
Scissors
Fuck
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
