friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
