There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
