She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
