I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
