just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
