lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I think I died a long time ago.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
