Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Randomize
