I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
