You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
