You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
