I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
