How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
